Have Heart!

I'm not going to lie, heartache feels wonderful.

When I didn't know what it felt like I used to watch as many tv shows and listen to as many songs as I could, that had to do with heartache. I crave-d it. I needed it. It's something I could Live off of for the rest of my Life.

So when I'm without it, I ask: 

Where are the tears? Where is the need for revenge? Where is conflict between hearts? Where is the scene where we throw our bodies to the wrong people? Where is the bittersweet darkness?






It's in the real world



Whenever I feel uninspired to write or to create I turn back on my memories. The people that hurt me I forgive on the outside, but I keep the anger in the skin of my heart. I need it to say that I can do better in life. I need it to inspire me. I need it to push me past the boundaries.



I try to remember the talks we had on my driveway. I rub my arms thinking about you-- the person that liberated me from the expectations of life. I'm satisfied when I hear you do hard drugs, because I don't. I bite my knuckles when I remember the way you VbitV me on the neck the other night. I sweat and stomp my feet hoping I cause an earthquake in the country you're in.

SCRATCH YOURSELF!
LOVE YOURSELF!

I just can't get enough!

I love the betrayal when I have no expectations. I relish the rampage I bring to others sometimes. Knowing that I have some control of feelings on others. Not that I mean to.

It's what makes me not want to have friends, and to find the really insane ones at the same time.

Ears are burning.
Breath is panting.
Fin-g-e-r-s type-ing

Throw your head against the wall!

That's what I do when I think of the monster in my heart.

-Benji

The Ice Pack

Recently, artist LIGHTS released an CD Remix package of her song ICE. When I first heard the song I thought it was really cheesy-awesome. I've been addicted to LIGHTS ever since February Air. It seems like pop artists come and go. Last year I loved Avril Lavigne because she was somebody that wouldn't let people stand in her way. I just disliked her sixteen year old attitude (and still do). Anyways, LIGHTS isn't like any pop star I have ever come across. By down to earth you don't think of ripped jeans, you think of real hobbies like playing World of Warcraft. By being a real person you don't think of vacations to africa to adopt a kid, you think of a girl that goes home to spend time with her family.

So here's my advice to any wannabe divas. The only people that care about you now are the ones that are as self centered as you. But the ones that are going to care about you later are the ones that you showed heart to.

Stay safe. Be honest.